Adj; To be above or beyond fuckwithability. Unable to be defeated; Invincible.
Be honest now! Do you ever wonder what it would really be like to:
- …feel totally in charge of your emotions?
- …no longer have “good days” and “bad days”?
- …have a mood that’s naturally 100% bulletproof?
Sound like fantasy?
It’s doesn’t have to be! It’s actually just one simple internal shift away.
When you’re fully in charge of your thoughts and emotions, you have real control over your life. There’s nothing anyone can do or say to bring you out of that place. Good days and bad days simply no longer exist.
Being unfuckwithable means that you are fully in charge of the way you feel and not living your life at the mercy of the people or things around you. It’s the ultimate in conscious living.
And it’s also the exact opposite from the way most of us live!, Most of us still have good days and bad days.
Our emotional state is defined by the random events and circumstances in our life. Instead of consciously acting, our life is dictated by our own reactions.
Here’s an example:
- One day you go to a store and the person in front of you has paid for your drink. That makes you so happy that you go to work and decide to give your assistant a huge public thank you for a project they just completed. The entire day seems to float by with everyone around you in an incredibly jovial mood.
- The next day you go to the store and the seller messes up your order–three times. This makes you late for work which stresses you out so you’re “accidentally” rude to everyone. You feel a dark cloud hanging around you for the rest of the day and it seems like people are going out of their way to avoid you.
Those two completely different outcomes were a result of the exact same situation: allowing the random events at the Store to dictate how you’re feeling.
In both cases, your external environment was more important than the way you really felt.
Your mood was at the mercy of events that were completely out of your control.
Living this way makes you a human table tennis ball: wildly flying from one emotion to the next, with no rhyme or reason.
It’s erratic, uneven and will eventually result in you feeling completely stressed and out of control of your own life. It’s not a healthy way to live.
But life doesn’t have to be that way. When you choose to consciously act instead of unconsciously react, your entire perspective shifts for the better.
You’re back in the driver seat of your own emotions. You get to decide how you feel.
It no longer matters what happens at the Store! Your mood is even and calm, no matter what.
You’ll realize there’s actually no such thing as a good day or bad day.
You have the power to create both of them.
Once you realize that, you’ll no longer want to live a life that’s dictated by random events. You’ll be able to take your real power back and choose your own happiness.
You’ll be able to have only good days. Sounds pretty good yeah? So today I’m sharing a few ways you can become unfuckwithable and shift out of unconscious reacting into conscious action:
How To Become Unfuckwithable – Start Acting Not Reacting
1.Take Control Of Your Bubble
Think of your natural energy as a bubble that constantly surrounds you. And the only thing that lets anything into that energy bubble is you. Your mind is the gatekeeper.
We all pick and choose our battles. Thousands of events happen to us every day but we ultimately choose which ones we allow to get under our skin. It often feels like you have no choice but to get upset about the rude waiter, closed early bank or whatever but you always do.
We all tend to assign a negative meaning to a neutral event. We interpret the tailgater as someone who’s picking on us deliberately, when it’s probably just a distracted driver!
All you really need to do to avoid the reaction is to take that neutral event and assign a different meaning to it.
One awesome way to do this is by using Byron Katie’s The Work. Without getting into the whole thing, here are four basic questions that can help you “flip the script” on every negative thought you have:
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know it’s true?
- How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without the thought?
2. Don’t Fight What Is
A lot of our own internal drama is a result of protesting things that have already happened. Needless to say, no amount of protesting in the world can make the clocks rewind!
You can waste a whole lot of time crying about things in the past but the only thing you’re actually accomplishing is wasting your energy.
(Not to mention replaying those events over and over in your mind makes your body react like the event is still happening!)
But nevertheless, when things don’t go our way or something totally unfair happens, we get upset and–goddamnit!–we really want to talk about it! We want to yell and scream and stomp about how unhappy we are even though there’s literally nothing that can be done. Again, we take it personally–even though 90% of the time, there’s nothing personal happening at all.
Think about it this way: it’s about as useless as getting angry about the fact that Mondays exist. They simply exist! Do we like them? For most people, the answer is no. But there are few people who wont bother to waste their energy by venting and screaming about it.
So get very clear on this: by the time someone has slightest chance to get to you, for you it’s already in the past.
That also doesn’t mean you have to become a doormat. Sometimes getting an apology or getting someone to fix a problem is totally warranted. But many times our tendency to seek “justice” just makes the situation worse, by allowing to drag on much longer than necessary.
3. Stop Seeking External Validation
Relying on the external world in order to feel good is another trap of the ego. We do it because it feels good at the time but relying on external factors only inevitably leads to that same out-of-control tennis ball feeling. Seeking validation from external sources is just another way of using our external world to make ourselves feel better.
By default, this involves giving our power away!
When the source of the validation disappears, so do our feel-good feelings.
The only real antidote to seeking validation is to cultivate true self-love. When you have full confidence in yourself and your own value, you’ll no longer need to bolster your self-esteem through compliments, awards, relationships or even material goods. You’ll be able to stand confidently all on your own. (Which is so unfuckwithable!)
Loving ourselves for who we are is difficult but it’s your most important mission in this life. If you can’t fully accept yourself, you’ll never find true happiness, even if you have fame and billions in your bank account. You’ll constantly be seeking something that will make you feel better but that only ever provides a temporary fix.
4. Recognize What’s Out Of Your Control
Repeat after me: other people’s sh** does not have to become your sh**.
You might already be a beautiful, glowing beacon of awesomeness in this world but it’s not up to you to make everyone see the light. You cannot control what people think about you. And you cannot control how other people behave. But you can control how you view yourself, how you view the world and how you act.
When someone treats you poorly, you can tell them that it’s uncool. If they do it again, you can change the parameters of the relationship or decide that you’re okay with it (if you are).
But you cannot scold, coerce or bully people into doing, saying or thinking exactly what you want them to. It’s an impossible game to win so don’t wear yourself out trying. The more time you spend trying to do that, the more stressed and worn out you’ll become.
People are going to occasionally let you down, hurt you or even betray you–but you must realize that’s a reflection of them, not of you.
Instead of letting it get to you, pull back and concentrate on the stuff you can control: your own thoughts, feelings and actions.
5. Let It Go
Becoming unfuckwithable (unfortunately!) usually does not happen over night! Those temporary bouts of rage or irritation will continue to hit you from time to time, even as you begin to train yourself to become stronger.
So when you start to go into reaction mode, take a deep breath and try to at least hold back your outer reaction. (Don’t be tempted to lash back! That usually only escalates the situation.) But it’s okay to feel your feelings! Acknowledge them for what they are but also try to realize what has triggered you. After you’ve felt the feelings for a while, then it’s time to let it go. This is still reacting but just slowing down the process. You’re no longer escalating the situation by bringing your reaction into the rest of your day.
Trust me–this process gets easier over time!
And sometimes it just happens naturally.
Remember: you have the power to shift from unconscious living into conscious living at any time you like! If you’re tired of feeling like a victim, then today’s a pretty good day to begin to become totally unfuckwithable.
I hope this post serves you! If you loved it, please remember to share it.
As always, thanks so much for being here beautiful soul.
Until next time darling!.